Dieting Nonsense

So I’m on a diet. (Don’t worry, I wont be posting obnoxiously about how awesome it’s going, and I promise no stupid self-take mirror shots.) Diets are no fun, but neither is being out of breath after jogging for a minute so diet it is. Anyway I’ve been doing this thing where you are suppose to eat only fruits and vegetables for two weeks and then do a ‘master cleanse’ for 3-10 days (your choice) after which you just adopt a healthy mix of foods. During the master cleanse you only drink a lemonade mixture with syrup mixed in, or at least that is what I thought. I started the master cleanse today and feel like it is utter nonsense. I misread the instructions, when I read it the first time I figured I could do lemonade only for three days no problem. Problem. To begin each day you have to drink 4 cups of salt water FOUR CUPS!! I don’t know if you’ve ever tried this but it made me want to gag. Actually it did make me gag it made me want to vomit.

This lead me to thinking of all the stupid diets there are out there. The bacon only diet, the no carb diet, the no dairy diet (lactose intolerant people excluded) on and on and on. Seriously, typing this I still have the unpleasant taste of salt in my mouth, it just wont go away. No more salt water for me. Seriously four cups. Let me hit you with some knowledge. According to this website (which came up when I searched stomach capacity) the stomach can hold up to 2 – 4 liters of stuff when fully expanded. I filled half (or a fourth if super expanded) of my stomach with nauseating water which didn’t make me inclined to add more to it to make it feel better. Maybe that’s how this part of the diet works. Makes you want to never eat again. Ever.

Anyway that’s my tirade. However before this evil part I’ve been doing just fine just managing my portions. So we’ll be going back to that tomorrow. I’m serious this is the only day I’ll be doing that salt water mumbo jumbo (and only because it’s already done). Ah well, live and learn and then eat well.

~ Q

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