We are gathered here today to pay homage to our dear Slide Mountain. I recall when I made my first pilgrimage to the dear play structure. It was built at the school when I was in second grade and I remember being overcome with the sheer vastness of it. As tall as a two story building, at least, and covered in three different types of slides, no structure was hotter than this. Sure some of the generations since have taken the crumbling structure for granted, but for those of us who can remember life before it’s magnificence will always hold it dearly. Recess with one tornado slide was difficult, with three new slides it was sheer magic. Certainly the mountain was a creature to be feared, taking several bones for breaking that first winter (and several since). It effectively made it’s position clear: I am a creature to be feared and respected, and it was. It is with a heavy heart that I press this button today. To destroy a creature so thoroughly only speaks to how special it will always be, instead of letting it slip deeper and deeper in decay. Thank you, dear mountain, for your years of service. You brought us the joy of speed, you kept us warm in the winter when we holed up in the twist slide, and helped us build up courage to go down the metal slide. For this we again thank you and bid you a sorrowful good bye.
*cue demolition of mountain*