Do you have anyone in your life that just brings out the worse in you? Perhaps it’s an ex or an annoying co-worker (both examples I’m fortunate enough not to have). NO in my case, well in the case that I’m writing about tonight, it’s an old schoolmate. Well, I say mate, but we were definitely not friends, I wouldn’t call us enemies either though. We just ran in different circles and I found her annoying. Mainly because if she ever didn’t get her way she’d start complaining and it was always someone’s fault, someone who is not her. I should tell you now, she didn’t bring out the absolute worse in me. However she did bring me down to her level, which is just as bad.
Case in point, tonight my volleyball team played her’s tonight. Each game or match is made up of three sets. Our team lost the first set, then, playing the same way we had the first game (which is a rather scrappy method of play) won the second. During the break between the two games said person started yelling at the referee. I didn’t here everything, but she was clearly not happy with the referee’s performance. Let’s face it, I always react favorably to someone telling me that they did my job two years ago so they know I’m doing it wrong now… Yup, super conducive to having things go your way. Insulting/verbally attacking somewhat.
Into the third match we went, all tied up (1 set to 1 set). Our match time was closing and with our team in the lead by six points or so, my teammate jumped up to set the ball. Only the serve was coming so fast that it was actually an attack (which you can’t do on the serve). Their entire team started yelling at the referee, spearheaded by this girl. I felt bad for the ref. It was 10 pm on a Friday night and she was getting whine/yelled at multiple times. The ref let them have the point while my teammate when to talk to her to see what was wrong, just wanting clarification on what was allowed and what wasn’t (varies on the referee). Our team was momentarily stalled but in the end we were able to shake it and win the game.
I was very excited that we had defeated the whiny players. I don’t know if the referee was miss (or not) calling stuff, but part of being a ‘good’ team is adapting to the given set of circumstances. A few weeks back we had a referee who didn’t really call anything. She wasn’t being unfair, not really. If you had a net play and it wasn’t called it’s not like she’d call it for the other team. We realized she wasn’t calling stuff and adjusted. Was it ideal? No, did we survive? Yes. So to have this team complain so much in a league that is in it for the fun not to be uber competitive was a bit disheartening. However I made it through the game with out saying anything to the stupid girl. Both teams shook hands and I was sure to tell her good match (like all of the players, sportsmanship aside).
I was almost home free until while our team was huddled and chatting I looked over and she was complaining to my team. Pretty much telling them the only reason we won was because the referee did call a couple things. Considering we had won both games by more than a couple points, this did not sit well with me. I went over to my teammates (other members in tow) to hear what was going on. She was, like I said, being quite rude and I had it. I couldn’t stay quite any longer. I broke and said something to the extent of “This is B league, we’re all here to have fun.”
Annoying whiny girl, “I know it is, and I don’t care, but just because it’s B league doesn’t mean they shouldn’t call stuff.”
“Obviously you care quite a bit about.”
Just like that it popped out. I know it was heinous, and I was able to stop myself from saying anything further but the damage was done and she won. She was able to get me to open my mouth when keeping it closed would have been better. I just couldn’t handle it. It was high school all over again. Like the times when she would work herself up to a teary tantrum and go to a teacher and get her way just so they wouldn’t have to listen to her. However this third strike of her whining brought me out. Rather than staying at my level, I sank down to hers.
To end this rambling rant, anyone have some good advice on how to walk away? Or perhaps a consoling anecdote from a time you weren’t able to stay afloat at your level?